There is a long unending stream of national news reports about politicians, teachers, religious leaders, entertainers, sports figures and other celebrities, caught in some variation of sexual dishonesty. Pundits and experts often label the behaviors, and the fall from grace that follows, the result of sex or porn addiction. These highly publicized celebrity cases point to, but overlook a larger issue of rampant sexual dishonesty that is found at every level of the culture. These cases are just the visible tip of the iceberg of our collective sexual shadow, and the secretive ways we attempt to express our sexuality. Imagine all the rest of the population that are indulging their sexuality in covert ways. The stats are astronomical! My concern is that the current psychological tools used to assess someone as a sex/porn addict, a hypersexual or a sexual deviant, are inadequate and outdated. They do not allow for nor encourage this amazing range of emerging sexuality. Many assessed as having a sexual disorder may simply be men and women who have an alternative sexuality that is outside the range of those doing the assessment. [...]

Researchers hope to expand project from 3000 participants to over 10,000 in the next 6 months Dr. Jeremy Thomas and Galen Fous MTP believe their Kink-focused research project, including the largest sex-survey of its kind to date, can help curious individuals as well as psychology professionals, better understand the emerging phenomenon of Kink sexuality. The on-line survey, developed and curated by Fous is completely anonymous for participants. To insure privacy, no personal information is gathered. What is unique is that participants can opt-in afterward through a separate email to receive the compiled responses of all participants. Many participants commented after receiving the results they felt a huge relief to understand they were not alone in what they desired. Dr. Thomas, Director of Gender and Sexuality Studies at Idaho State University and Researcher with the Center for Positive Sexuality (CPS, along with Dr. DJ Williams and  Emily Prior MA, also from the CPS,) are joining Fous to do a scientific analysis of the data gathered from his survey.  Fous hopes to expand the survey from the current level to over 10, 000 participants over the next [...]

And the best approach to address it. Many people wonder if their own or their partner’s sexual desires and practices may be abnormal, or even addictive. There is a constant messaging in the culture about sex/porn addiction, hypersexuality, and people acting out their sexuality in harmful ways due to childhood abuse or trauma. These narratives overlook an even more pressing issue, What I call Sexual Authenticity Disorder. I believe that an innate, inherent sexuality is a distinct psychological dimension of every individual. This distinct sexuality includes the types of sexual and life partners they are instinctually attracted to, the core themes their fantasies follow, and their innate frequency for sexual engagement. In the great majority of cases I have encountered, someone’s inherent sexual nature transcends developmental influences and experiences. But one’s authentic sexual nature can be negatively impacted by those influences. These negative influences often entangle one’s innate sexuality and its healthy expression in shame, fear, secrecy, dishonesty and more that can harm both the individual and their relationships. Anyone’s authentic sexual expression needs to be intimately linked to sexual integrity. This means adhering to [...]

Women’s sexuality and its overt, liberated expression is on the rise. It is pouring out of the once forbidden, obscured, shadows and into the sexual mainstream. For many women this means learning about self-love, positive body image, sensuous touch, sacred sexuality, neo-Tantra, goddess worship, sex toys, g-spots and other meaningful intimate excursions into their personal sexuality. For other women, their sexual awakening has a kinkier, edgier expression. These women, by their own admission, seek to be ravaged, taken, grabbed by the hair, pushed against the wall.  They want their partner to show up sexually in his fierce, dominating, primal desire.  This growing interest in Kink, Dominance and submission and BDSM by millions of women worldwide has been highlighted by the 50 Shades phenomenon. Fifty Shades illuminated power-exchange driven Kink as a sexual undercurrent that has been rising into mainstream culture and women’s sexuality since the 1970’s. Paradoxically the current cultural conversation about men’s sexuality is often seeped in the contexts of rape-culture, creepiness, porn addiction and patriarchy from the left and immorality, sin and the work of the devil on the right. The notion that men’s [...]

Pro tips for determining sexual normalcy. "Normal" put in quotes sums it all up. Normal should be tongue-in-cheek these days. There is no normal other than each individual’s sexual norm. I use the term "normal" now to mean personal to the individual. Your sexuality is as distinct as your fingerprint and as inherent as your eye color. I consider it normal for you and your partner to embrace your sexuality as your birthright. You have every right to claim, experience, and celebrate it. No government, law, religion, psychology, family nor anyone has any business interfering with your "normal" sexual behavior (a.k.a. your authentic sexual expression). But in this era of emerging sexual liberation, normal must also include consideration of conscious sexual codes and practices such as consent, negotiation, safe words, education, after-care, and more that can allow our edgiest desires to be reasonably expressed with an eager partner seeking a similar edge. How can you tell if your partner's sexual desire is normal? It sounds simple enough, but here’s the problem: We are in an era of expanding sexual expression unprecedented in the history of civilization. The vast range of human sexual potential [...]

  In a panic about rampant porn viewing warping teen sexuality? Great! It’s a big concern. But if Sex-Ed is not the next word out of your mouth, then close it. Please. You are part of the problem. And by sex education, I mean informed, diverse, comprehensive, sex-positive, evidence-based year to year curriculums from middle school forward, not moral and religious based abstinence policies. This is what will be required to allow our young people to take their sexuality out of the uncertain shadowy Sex-Ed offered by the internet, playground and locker-room. Sex-Ed is critical to allow our teens to engage their sexuality, if they choose, in an informed, conscious, negotiated, consensual way. If you stand for decreased teen pregnancies, STD’s, consent violations, life-long anxiety, shame, secretiveness and utter confusion about their sexual desires and identity, then put your zealous fervor behind getting Sex-ED into our educational curriculum.     Excerpt from the Highly acclaimed Decoding Your Kink - Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires. "Visionary...Masterful...Groundbreaking...Cutting Edge...Worth its Weight in Diamonds ... Highly Recommended...A Must Read"     Available on Amazon.com            [...]

  Those that can not soften risk being shattered           Excerpt from the Highly acclaimed Decoding Your Kink - Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires. "Visionary...Masterful...Groundbreaking...Cutting Edge...Worth its Weight in Diamonds ... Highly Recommended...A Must Read"     Available on Amazon.com                  Check out my world famous 3 in 1 Tetruss portable dungeon, suspension bondage rig and sex swing. Serving the global Fetish community since 2000

  Sexual shame poisons our authentic sexuality. The poison infects, distorts and inhibits our natural sexual expression. Our immersion in shame-driven environments and cultures has bred sex-negative emotional messages within our psyches that can relentlessly inject fear or disgust into the same moment we are getting turned on. Our vulnerable sexual psyche can be flooded with all manner of harsh moral judgments, embarrassment, unworthiness, or inhibitions. In subtle to overt ways our sexual joy and ecstasy can be diminished if not lost altogether. This poisonous effect can be particularly potent, if we feel very shy or inhibited to begin with. To overcome deep shame, we must develop practices to mindfully encourage, love and consciously express our authentic sexuality. We will need to come face to face with all that resists or diminishes our fullest expression emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. There is no other antidote I know to exuberantly reclaim your sexual birthright.           Excerpt from the Highly acclaimed Decoding Your Kink - Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires. "Visionary...Masterful...Groundbreaking...Cutting Edge...Worth its Weight in Diamonds ... Highly Recommended...A Must Read"   [...]

    What separates sex from violence is Eros.  Without the intention of mutual Eros, sex is an attack, a take down, a mounting of one over another, a hunger sated, a biological imperative fulfilled.  It is predator and prey at its most primal, cold-blooded expression.  It is the re-enactment of the hunter and the hunted,  hot-blooded and ravenous, if still inhumane.  What unites sex with our humanity is Eros. Eros is the mysterious, creative, sexual dimension of love. Within that love, our Eros may flourish. We may express it in the most tender, sensuous ways imaginable. With a consenting partner, we may explore every taboo, primitive, wild lust ever conceived. Within Eros both are gateways to profound intimacy and liberated ecstasy.           Excerpt from the Highly acclaimed Decoding Your Kink - Guide to Explore Share and Enjoy Your Wildest Sexual Desires. "Visionary...Masterful...Groundbreaking...Cutting Edge...Worth its Weight in Diamonds ... Highly Recommended...A Must Read"     Available on Amazon.com                    Check out my world famous 3 in 1 Tetruss portable dungeon, suspension bondage rig and sex swing. Serving the global Fetish [...]